We don’t all like to admit that we’re perfect, mainly because the majority of us don’t actually believe we are. However, and I like to think other people feel the same way, that I am a pretty good overall person. I mean, I’ve not committed any arrestable offences (I can remember), I’m always pretty polite and I treat people as I’d like to be treated myself.
In fact, I always thought I was pretty patient, good at communicating and quite laid-back. Not to mention low-maintenance, funny and caring (in a non big-headed way, of course).
But recently, I’ve had a little heart to heart with someone who’s not only extremely important to me, but also a major part of my life. And it’s come to light, I’m afraid to tell you, that I am not all of those things I’ve listed. Not 100% of the time, at least. And in fact, I can be, well, quite the opposite of those qualities at times. To start with I was a tad confused, perhaps even in denile.
But I’m not moody all the time, I just don’t want to tell you what’s wrong because there’s nothing you can do about it. Let’s just forget about the whole thing. Just drop it! Please stop talking, I don’t care anymore.
And it would occassionally go on… and on.. and on. And then I look back and no matter how much I hate to admit it, I can be a total bitch. But the thing is, I think I realise it at the time. But I just assume I’m always a great person, and just brush it off.
Needless to say, I’m probably not the nicest person to be around when I’m being like that. So, I’ve kind of had an epiphany. I’ve never thought I’ve been perfect, and frankly, I don’t have enough effort to begin to try being perfect (because it would take a LOT). I’ve realised I do have more flaws than maybe I thought. I am no matte foundation, all perfect and flawless.
I am proud to admit that I have flaws. I do things wrong, and I mess up. I make my boyfriend (very) angry with being moody, and I can be a total bitch.
Phew, that’s better.
It’s quite liberating to admit I’m crap sometimes. Not because I’m under the hazy illusion that I’m perfect, but because nobody likes to admit their wrong. But it feels quite good to do so, and apologise, and start again.
Find a flaw- it might just make you see things in a clearer way.